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Writer's pictureHelen Vella

Do you know who you are?


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How do you define yourself?  Do you know who you really are?


I know when I was growing up I knew who I didn’t want to be and I spent most of my life trying NOT to be someone.  Therefore all the decisions I made throughout my life were based on making sure I did not become this person.

Over the years I have had several clients who don’t know who they are – what they want and have let others define who they are.

It is very easy to let others define YOU.  Teachers tell you how good or bad you are, parents tell you what you are good at and what you are bad at.  Coach, media, and now social media all have an influence on who you become.  (if you let it happen)

Unfortunately, it can take years of living a life you are not happy with before you really find out what and who you are, if you ever do.

Your peers are one of your biggest influences and it starts at a very early age.  A 7-year-old was told by another 7-year-old that she was gay.   She believed this and in her mind, nobody would like her anymore including her parents. Now you can call this emotional bullying or whatever else you want to label it.  The thing is if you are not confident with who you are and don’t have a support group around you, who will listen to you, a definition of yourself can be whatever the most influential people around you decide.

I was in my 40s before I realized I was not living my true self and I had been trying too much not to be my mother I had not defined myself.   ( I explain in more detail in my first book)   Getting help to overcome years of programming is the best way to find out who and what you are.  I did it and I can honestly say it was like being re-born.  This is one of the reasons I now help people overcome their emotional challenges.

How many of you are trying to be like some famous person because you think it is cool to be that way?

The best person you can be is YOU.  Don’t be afraid to voice your own opinion, what is the worst that can happen????

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